How to make a girl queef

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Some of them claim they'd never done that and I said that was impossible. I was adamant, but I didn't really know. What were your feelings about it?

Did it gross you out? Man A: Yeah, as a fourth grader, it did not sound appealing. Man B: Initially, yes, but no more than air coming out of any other human orifices.

Woman B: I thought it was really, really funny. Also, kind of awesome that girls had this weird gross bodily function boys could never achieve.

Woman A: Who hasn't? Was it during sex? Or just, like, randomly. I think it can happen randomly sometimes? Woman A: Both. I queefed once at the gym when I stretching.

I giggled at myself and prayed to the lord nobody heard and then thought to themselves, "Wow, that girl's vagina must be a cavern.

Did you or your partner acknowledge it? Woman A: No. Or if he did, I was unaware. Woman B: Not really, I've laughed before and that made him laugh; but it's only ever happened during sex, so it gets forgotten pretty quickly.

Men, has a woman you've slept with ever queefed during sex? Man A: I believe that I just kept on having sex. There might've been a moment when we made eye contact and silently acknowledged what had just happened.

But there was sex to be had. Man A: Momentarily, sure. But nothing sex-ending. Men, how should a woman handle queefing? Laugh it off? Ignore it?

Man A: I'd say ignore it and move on. Maybe laugh if you guys make eye contact. No need to apologize; only sociopathic dudes would stop having sex because of it.

Man B: Ignore it, unless he brings it up. Then laugh it off. Men, can you tell the difference between a queef and a fart? Man A: Yeah. At least I think I can.

Never asked afterward to make sure. Intruding bears at your campsite? The thundering claps of your commanding queefs will send them running for the hills.

Not in the mood? Queefing will win admiration and laughter from your friends and peers. Friends say the only reason they hang out with me is to witness my circus-like queefing performances.

Spread farther and suck harder! Once you become a seasoned queefer, your vagina will blow out like an old Schwinn tire, and you will be able to skip many of these steps and get right down to business.

The following instructions are intended for the amateur queefer. Pay close attention, many lackadaisical students Sarah have resisted my teachings and refused to open up their poonies and hearts to the wonderful world that is queefing, claiming their vaginas are too small or some such hog wash.

Something about a warm bath softens up your lady parts and creates a vaginal climate conducive to queefing. The longer you soak your moose knuckle, the more likely you are to have a successful vadge-blasting experience.

Once the bathtub is drained, you will need to put your legs over your head as if you were welcoming a romantic visitor—say, Court Sullivan—and needed to make plenty of room for his gargantuan wang.

You may need a helper on each side of the tub to hold open your labia majora. Now that your glory hole is open, suck in your stomach as hard as you can.

This may take a few tries, but eventually you will feel a vortex of air suck up into your poon.

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How To Make A Girl Queef

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Vagina Farts - WHAT IS QUEEFING

Another position to avoid here? Doggy style , says Dr. All bodies are different and that extends to your private parts. Vaginal lubrication also makes queefing more likely, so women with more naturally lubricated vaginas may tend to hear more queefing, she adds.

If you hate queefing because it takes you out of the moment and makes it harder for you to orgasm, by all means, give non-doggystyle positions more play time in your sex life.

While they sound uncannily like a fart, queefs aren't that at all. Your smelliest smelly farts are the result of bacteria breaking down and being released as gas during the process of digestion, and then escaping your bod in the form of a little toot.

But queefs don't come from digestion, they just come from pockets of air sneaking out of your vagina in one quick burst. Vanessa Cullins, vice president of external medical affairs at Planned Parenthood, told Cosmopolitan.

They're basically the vaginal version of making fart sounds with your mouth. So if you want, you can call queefs "vagina farts," but know that it's technically inaccurate.

To-may-to, to-mah-to situation, sorta, but like toot-may-to, toot-mah-to. While it might seem like a queef only escapes your vagina during the most embarrassing times like during a silent moment in yoga or during a quiet second during your foreplay , Dr.

Cullins explained that they can just sort of happen whenever. Cullins said. And vaginal moistness, which increases during sex, helps make that 'poot poot poot' sound.

Because life is unfair and we frankly have very little control over our body's functions, this does mean that, yes, your sexiest moments are also the moments when your vagina is most likely to let out a big fart sound.

But there's nothing abnormal about letting out a sputter of queefs every time you have sex — air is a gas, and the nature of gases is that they fill their containers.

Sometimes that container just happens to be your cavernous vagina. According to Planned Parenthood , there's nothing you can do to queef-proof your vag.

But certain things—like rougher, more rigorous sex and lots of position changes—can up the risk. You might also find that certain positions make you more queef-prone than others, like anything where your hips are raised above your head or your vagina is hoisted up in the air in any way.

Rather than changing your sex life just to avoid a brief moment of potential embarrassment, just give your partner a heads-up that, uh, it might happen!

Or don't, and bond over laughing about it later. Truly, it's totally normal and nothing to worry about. Oh, I wish I could give you expert advice on how to gracefully recover from an awkward moment during sex, but I really cannot.

Cullins reassured that queefing is totally "normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. As of yet, there's no queefing equivalent of Gas-X.

Although the idea of being able to be "Queef-X" is sexy and intriguing. There are sounds. Woman B: I'm actually not sure, but I have a clear memory of learning what it was and telling my friends at a sleepover.

We must have been Some of them claim they'd never done that and I said that was impossible. I was adamant, but I didn't really know.

What were your feelings about it? Did it gross you out? Man A: Yeah, as a fourth grader, it did not sound appealing. Man B: Initially, yes, but no more than air coming out of any other human orifices.

Woman B: I thought it was really, really funny. Also, kind of awesome that girls had this weird gross bodily function boys could never achieve.

Woman A: Who hasn't? Was it during sex? Or just, like, randomly. I think it can happen randomly sometimes? Woman A: Both. I queefed once at the gym when I stretching.

I giggled at myself and prayed to the lord nobody heard and then thought to themselves, "Wow, that girl's vagina must be a cavern.

Did you or your partner acknowledge it? Woman A: No. Or if he did, I was unaware. Woman B: Not really, I've laughed before and that made him laugh; but it's only ever happened during sex, so it gets forgotten pretty quickly.

Men, has a woman you've slept with ever queefed during sex? Man A: I believe that I just kept on having sex. There might've been a moment when we made eye contact and silently acknowledged what had just happened.

But there was sex to be had. Man A: Momentarily, sure. But nothing sex-ending. Men, how should a woman handle queefing?

Laugh it off? Ignore it? Man A: I'd say ignore it and move on. Maybe laugh if you guys make eye contact. No need to apologize; only sociopathic dudes would stop having sex because of it.

Man B: Ignore it, unless he brings it up. Then laugh it off. Men, can you tell the difference between a queef and a fart? Man A: Yeah.

How to make a girl queef

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